Signs of stupidity

It's still the slow season for news then, however I have a certain sympathy for the Plain English campaign, (as long as they keep their noses out of the cookbooks).

Sure, notices such as "May Cause Drowsiness" on sleeping tablets and "May Contain Nuts" on a packet of nuts are very annoying as they assume you to be as thick as two short planks.

However, there is also the warning: "Do Not Iron Clothes On Body" on an iron. You would think this would be unnecessary or that only the mentally sub-normal would need it. That seems not to be the case as an acquaintance of mine, H, found out. While up at Cambridge she attended a house party at a place that six blokes were sharing and proceeded to get drunk and throw her drink all over her top. This being a student house full of blokes when she asked for a hairdryer to dry her top this was met with amusement. It having been gently explained to her that not everyone bothers with such devices they came up with an alternative method and set her up in a room that they assured her would be out of bounds while she iron her top with the iron and ironing board. Five minutes later a piercing scream was heard and H has burnt her nipple so badly in ironing the top still on that she has been branded for life.

The lesson to learn from this is not that warning signs are necessary because even Cambridge medical students, (now in H's case a doctor), need them. It is that there is nothing on earth that can stop people behaving like absolute fuckwits and it's best to let Darwin sort it out.